Know Where Your Family is Headed

Dick Wulf's Tongue-in-Cheek Newsletter to Improve Relationships
slightly off-the-wall BUT better than graffiti

The Know Where Your Family Is Headed Issue
© May 2001, Dick Wulf, Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA

Don't let your family drift aimlessly. Successful family is much more than just successful individuals.

Did you know? Dick's family was featured in a half-page article in the Colorado Springs Gazette Telegraph, Dec 3, 1980.

NOTE: This is supposed to be humorous so we can look at ourselves and have fun. We are all of us a bit off the mark. We can cry about it or have fun and laugh at ourselves. Laughing at ourselves and not taking ourselves too seriouosly allows us to view ourselves just seriously enough to change, but not so seriously as to inhibit our improvement by condemnation or defensiveness.

ABRAHAM (ancient father of the Hebrew nation): "Don't be in too much of a hurry to have children. And have them with your wife. (Duh) Modern-day illustration why: Arab-Israeli sibling rivalry."

SNOW WHITE: "Sing a lot. Especially if you have seven kids and they attract all sorts of animals out of the forest."

PRESIDENT BILL: "Make sure your kids learn to do as you say and not what you do."

DONALD AND DAISY DUCK: "Have all your children at the same time and make them follow you in single file. Don't give too much attention to the ugly one -- you know, the swan."

MERCEDES BENZ: "Give us all your money and we'll give you a very safe family car. For added safety, you won't have any money left for gas, eliminating any dangerous zoom--zoom."

What do you think family is for? Just to have someone scratch way back there where you can't reach with your big toe? Or, do you think the purpose of family is just to get others to do the chores you hate? Hardly!

So, what do you think? Are you willing to consider a good reason for family? Can I talk you into a family purpose like helping one another be happy and successful in life?

So, fry up some chocolate rutabaga and gather the family where you can get their attention, like maybe a bathroom - the one without a window. Tell your family that you would like to decide with them a family purpose that will help the family work together so that everyone can enjoy life more, especially family life. Then ask something like, "How would you like the purpose of our family to be to help one another enjoy life together and become all we can be?"

Depending upon how dysfunctional your family has been, reactions should range from mild enthusiasm to fainting. Don't over-react. Stay calm. Assure everyone that this is not some gimmick that you will forget about in a week or two. And, don't blow it by dropping the ball. Sheesh!

A family purpose gives direction and focuses family energy, and helps define necessary and helpful behavior. When the family agrees upon a constructive purpose, the family can be led in such a way that it runs more smoothly, chores are done more cooperatively, sibling rivalry is reduced to a minimum (hey, it probably won't go away completely), and parents smile a whole lot more. The purpose gives the family direction and, eventually, everyone in the family will develop many skills.

I The parent(s) must lead the family as a social unit, not just as a collection of individuals. This means parents assigning tasks to help individual members to the family as a whole rather than handling them themselves. It means usually talking to the family as a whole when the family is doing things.

II The family must have a clearly defined purpose to guide family and individual behaviors. The family purpose prepares the road to really good family.

III The parent(s) must be careful to not do anything the family or any of its members can do. Otherwise, kids and the family as a whole will not develop confidence and act responsibly on their/its own.

IV The family must learn interdependent interaction and create synergy. Everyone needs to work together and bring out the best in each other.

STUDY FINDS AMERICAN FAMILIES DON'T HAVE A CLUE

A recent study (like in the last fifteen seconds) by this writer's imagination, shows that many American families don't have a clue . . . as to their children's biggest struggles . . . as to the effect of family dysfunction and dissolution . . . as to what their teenage boys are building in the garage . . . as to the value of close family friends . . . as to the need for God . . . as to the need for family activities that teach consideration and cooperation . . . etc.

The Mental Health Darwin Awards
Hey, we're supposed to be getting smarter!

Lot's of people have done stupid things. If you have done any of these things, we're not talking about you.
It's the other guy. Right? Right! (Maybe the person on your left.)

The Mental Health Darwin Award is given to all those fathers and mothers who have said, "If you want to cry, I'll give you something to cry about!"

A special Mental Health Darwin Award goes to all those parents who set out on long road trips expecting children to not get restless and then yell at them all the way. If evolutionary theory was really true (which I don't believe for a moment – well, maybe a quick moment before I remember the problems with it), parents would have realized by the turn of this last millennium that rapidly growing bodies and muscles get restless and must move, especially to pester a nearby sibling.

LTDF (lonely teen from dysfunctional family) seeking HSF (happy substitute family) that likes to enjoy one another (and doesn't walk in on you in the bathroom). Reply to Box 84.

Okay! Who put the rubber fish on my wall that sings Don't Worry - Be Happy? [Hint: Don't look under your bed. I wouldn't think of getting even.]

Elmo and Alberta Zottlebanger were declared the undisputed winners of the Most Horrendous Family Award by the District Juvenile Court and sentenced to 280 hours of table game playing with their kids.

Overseen by the Department of Family Protection, officials are watching carefully for the inability to lose with dignity, cutthroat competition, and cheating.

Since the Zottlebangers began their probation, shoplifting has been down 34% and recess is once again enjoyed by schoolchildren in this small Show Me State community. Stray dogs roam the streets in safety and citizens are singing again.

RESOURCES TO BUILD GREAT RELATIONSHIPS
The Great Family Conversations Tool Kit	The Great Parenting Conversations Tool Kit	The Great Couple Conversations Tool Kit
The Great Family Leadership for Success Tool Kit	The Kids' Chores Management Tool Kit	The Great Couple FUN Conversations Tool Kit
The Child Safety Games Tool Kit	The Great Refrigerator Communication Tool Kit
The "Why Chores and Rules" & Parenting Dialogue AUDIO CD		The Helpful Grandparent's Positive Influence Tool Kit

This is the ongoing saga of the misfit Zottlebanger Family. It is used to illustrate the topic being discussed.
CLICK HERE to go to the VERY FIRST episode	CLICK HERE to go to the NEXT episode