Great Ideas to Do with Grandkids
© 1998 Dick Wulf, MSW, LCSW

Here are some ideas that are both fun and will be of help to your grandchild. I can't guarantee the results, but you should be able to make these ideas work well.

SEND PICTURE POSTCARDS WITH JOKES

Younger kids love to get postcards, as every grandparent knows. However, most grandparents only occasionally send a card or letter. How much better it is to send something regularly, as in every Saturday or every other Monday. Even once a month is good. Regular contact is much better than surprise contact. That is how you can become a regular part of your grandchildren's lives.

My suggestion is to write a picture postcard right after talking with a grandchild on the phone. That way your postcard message can relate to what you were talking about. Since it will 3-5 days before he or she receives your postcard, it will feel to your grandchild that you remembered 4 days later.

Just be sure to be fair. Send all kids at the same location the same number of postcards. Don't play favorites for any reason. If, for example, you have one grandchild that seems to be ignored at home compared to the other kids, don't leave the other kids out. The way to balance it out is to write longer letters or talk a bit longer on the phone to the one who needs more attention. But make sure that each grandkid gets the same number of cards, letters or calls.

If you run out of things to say on your postcards, get a kid's book of jokes or riddles for the age group of your grandkids. Each time ask a joke and the next time give the answer and ask another joke or riddle.

MAKE UP A STORY TOGETHER
(CAN ALSO BE DONE ON THE PHONE)

This can be good with grandchildren in grade school. Ask your grandchild what kinds of people, animals and things he or she would like to have in the story. Write these down. Then start a story without the intention of finishing the story for at least a month. This way the story is a relationship with you rather than merely an event.

If you are face-to-face, limit your story section to just fifteen minutes or shorter. If you are on the phone, go for from five to fifteen minutes.

Whenever you get to a place in the story where your grandchild can contribute, such as naming a horse or a person in the story, ask what name he or she would like to give. Also ask which way your grandchild would like to go with the plot, such as, "Would you like the bear to run away or stay around?" or "Should it be raining or sunny?"

Older children will be able to tell the story for a while, and with them you should limit each of you to a minute and then the story turns over to the other person. Emphasize that you together are making up a long story, like a book.

As you get to the end of the month, and thus to the end of the story, ask your grandchild how he or she would like the story to end.

This kind of working together over time on a story will help you feel closer and will give your grandchild a memory that will most likely be remembered for a long, long time.

If you want to get some idea of this method of storytelling, ask your library for the audiotape of Wolf Story by William McCleery.

PLAY "I'M THINKING OF SOMETHING...."
(CAN ALSO BE DONE ON THE PHONE)

I play this with my 4 and 7-year-old grandsons when riding in the car or when we are killing time standing in line or waiting for something to begin. For grandparents who call often on the phone, it can also be played on the telephone. And it would be great for daily e-mail correspondence. Such daily e-mail would allow a grandparent to be a regular and fun part of a grandchild's life.

This game begins when someone says, "I'm thinking of something (fill in the blank here)."

Make it easy for little kids and harder for older grandchildren. The little ones will only be able to play in person, while driving or waiting. My four-year-old grandson will say, "I'm thinking of something green." when he hasn't got the foggiest idea what he has picked. If we are stationery, he will pick something in eyesight. However, if we are driving, it will be blocks or miles away when I finally guess what he is thinking of, since he just can't seem to make up his mind. Actually, it is really funny to have him say it is a brown house when he said he was thinking of something brown 3 miles back. But, who cares? We are having fun and being together. With these younger ones, this game can be used to teach simple knowledge such as shapes, colors, numbers, letters and concepts such as fast and slow, big and small, hot and cold, etc. Examples: "I'm thinking of something round," thinking of a clock, pie, quarter, wheel or some other round object.

For older kids, just say, "I am thinking of something" and teach them to ask such questions as, "Is it an animal?" "Is it a plant?" "Is it mineral?" "Have I seen one other than in a picture?" Etc. With intelligent teenagers this can be very challenging as you and he or she think of such things as sound waves, reputation, body odor, the death of Princess Di, etc. When it gets that hard, it could go on for quite a long time. Just be sure to give up or allow your grandchild to give up when it is no longer fun. However, instead of stopping, you can always suggest a question that will get the questioning on the right track.

Oh, by the way, a person can guess the wrong thing any number of times. This is a non-competitive game without points and scoring.

Dick Wulf, MSW, LCSW
Colorado Springs, Colorado