Romantic Things to Do
© 1998 Dick Wulf, MSW, LCSW

I wish I could guarantee fantastic results with the following suggestions, but, unfortunately, results will be dependent upon many factors, especially your mood and attitude with doing any one of them.  Give it your very best try!

IDEAS FOR COUPLES

Go to sleep cuddling while listening to a book on tape. Jean and I especially like mysteries on audiotape. This is a lot more intimate and close than falling asleep while watching television. Jean and I have different sleep patterns, so after she falls asleep, I get up to continue what I was doing before she went to bed.

Tell each other what would be your ideal romantic evening?  Your ideal weekend?

Get out of the house and take a short drive. Agree to only talk about your wedding day while you are on the drive so that you can recall the best parts of that day when you began life together as married people. Dialogue about what you would do differently, if today you were going to do your wedding ceremony all over again.

IDEAS FOR HUSBANDS

Everybody is looking forward to Spring. Bring her a bouquet of Spring flowers and then begin picking wild flowers and putting them (without fanfare) in a spot where she will notice them.

Make up a certificate for her that proclaims one of her very best qualities. Instead of giving it to her, hang it up somewhere in the house where she will be surprised by it. Often, her bathroom is a good place.

IDEAS FOR WIVES

This idea comes from San Diego. A women wrote, "I love flowers. To me flowers spell romance. So, if I'm in the mood for love, I leave a trail of flowers from the front door leading to our bedroom. I place a vase of water beside our bed, and when my husband comes home and sees the flowers, he knows our daughter is staying at a friend's house and dinner will be very late. He picks up the flowers, all of them, and puts them in the vase beside the bed. We spend the evening in love, tranquilized by the scent of my favorite flowers.

Attach a note to the morning newspaper that says, "News Flash! I Love You"

STANDING RECOMMENDATIONS

WEEKLY DATE NIGHT

Make one specific night each and every week your "date night", even if you do not have money to go out every week. It doesn't matter which night you choose, just a night you both can agree on and stick to. The only thing required is that you spend it alone and together for the entire evening (no friends, no children, no business associates or business phone calls, no other family members). Focus on each other and your relationship. Have fun. No serious talk or problem-solving. (Set another time for that.) Keep it up for years. Jean and I have had a date night for 33 years. During the years we were having trouble with each other and our relationship in danger, this date night was like glue that kept us together and working on the relationship.

ALWAYS GREET ONE ANOTHER

Whenever one of you comes home, the other should come to greet the one just arriving with a kiss and hug. This communicates that you are happy to have the other come home. Even if you have been in a fight or do not yet get along fabulously, do this. It will help you get the relationship back on the right course. And don't try to save time by making it a brief encounter.

PERSONAL AFFIRMATION

Often and regularly look into the other person's eyes and tell something you really like about him or her. There are a lot of good qualities in everyone. Point them out to one another, and tell how you appreciate that quality.

Dick Wulf, MSW, LCSW
Colorado Springs, Colorado